We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
