is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
