That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
