i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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