I'm really into asian looking animals
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
