So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
