idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
