whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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