Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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