they need to just BURY HIM!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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