I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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