): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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