Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
