It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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