My sheets look like a crime scene.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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