Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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