a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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