maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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