What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
