If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think I have vodka in my lungs
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
