My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize