brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
