you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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