Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
