So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
