hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
