So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Randomize
