There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
