You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
