that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
