we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize