Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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