She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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