the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
