I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize