lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
