hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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