Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
