Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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