BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
