Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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