Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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