I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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