More tranny stories later!
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
