I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
