Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize