CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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