I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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