Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
