See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
