I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
