She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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