she looked like the bat from fern gully.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
