Already got asked if we're dating
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
