R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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