He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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