New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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