Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
