You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
