Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
