I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This baby is an asshole
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize