If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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